


Accession

by Rubylove



Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celtic Folklore, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 17:27:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubylove/pseuds/Rubylove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a druid and some challenges and a High Kingship at stake.  Nobody is really surprised by the outcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accession

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so my roommate was reading Celtic folklore at me and apparently there was a High King of Ireland called Niall of the Nine Hostages. Dude had four half-brothers that he outperformed in arbitrary challenges set by a druid in order to earn the throne.
> 
> Basically what I’m saying is that this fic essentially wrote itself. 
> 
> [Apologies for the incumbent High King’s name; it’s actually Eochaid Mugmedón but I’ve written it the way my roommate pronounced it.]

The throne room is empty when Niall arrives. He glances around, wondering if he’s mistaken the message, but no, Liam’s coming in through the opposite door, and if there’s more than one of them, worst-case scenario, at least they’re wrong together. Niall can handle that.

"Where’s Da?" Liam asks. Niall shrugs, crossing to meet him in the middle, in front of the vacant High Throne.

"Dunno. You know how he likes to make an entrance, though. Got a flair for the dramatic and that."

"He has that," Liam agrees.

Harry and Louis meander in like a single entity. “Hiiii,” Harry says.

"Has anyone seen Zayn?" demands Louis

"Yo," says Zayn from the doorway. "Sorry, I got distracted."

"Good, everyone is here." High King Notevengonnatry has appeared on the dais with the court druid in tow. He claps his hands once. "Boys, I’m getting old, and it’s time to see who’s going to succeed me."

"What, it doesn’t fall to the eldest?" Louis’ doing that thing where he makes his tone joking to pretend like he doesn’t mean what he’s saying. It hasn’t worked on any of them in years, but no one’s had the heart to tell him they can see right through him.

"No, Louis, it does not fall to the eldest. Succession of the firstborn doesn’t apply because you’re not actually my sons."

"Ouch," protests Harry.

"Straight through the heart," adds Niall.

"Be more callous, Da," Zayn suggests. "Can you?"

"Enough." The High King is smiling. "Winston here has come up with an idea that I think will really be effective. Winston?"

The druid clears his throat. “To show that you are worthy of the High Throne,” he declares, “you will complete a series of challenges.”

"Like a scavenger hunt?" Liam asks, excited.

"Probably more like an obstacle course," Louis says.

"I’m not good at those," Harry objects.

"I bet it’s maths," Niall says.

"I hope not." Liam wilts.

"Boys." King Notevengonnatry’s quietly authoritative voice cuts through. "Give Winston your ear. He will explain."

They all turn their attention back to Winston. He fixes the sleeves of his robe before continuing.

"Ah, as I was saying, you will complete a series of challenges." He draws five rolls of parchment out of his pouch. "Each of you will have a different set of tasks, but the final task will be the same for all of you. Once you have completed them, you will return to the castle with your tokens, and the victor will be declared." He looks at each of them sharply. "I know you all love each other and everything, but I still have to warn you, if anyone is found to have interfered with his brother’s tasks-"

“ _Foster_  brother,” Louis corrects him. Winston closes his eyes briefly.

"If anyone is found to have interfered with his  _foster_  brother’s tasks,” he continues, and Louis beams at him, “he will be summarily executed and disinherited.”

"Wait," says Zayn. "I don’t think-"

"But I’m sure I don’t need to make threats," Winston finishes. "Your tasks should take you no more than a week, so I expect we’ll see you back here Saturday. Come get your scrolls."

~*~

Liam sets out with a map and a compass and a bedroll and provisions and a phenomenal amount of enthusiasm. This is  _perfect_. He doesn’t much care whether he gets to be High King or not, but Liam has never backed down from a challenge in his life, and he’s got what it takes to get the tasks done.

~*~

"I don’t think it’s allowed though."

"Babe, he said not to interfere. This is the  _opposite_ , innit? We’re  _helping_  each other.”

"To be honest I’m not sure I want to be High King."

"Rather be my Queen, wouldn’t you."

"Mm. Lou.  _Lou_ , we were meant to leave today.”

Harry and Louis get started after a bit of a delay.

~*~

Niall’s pretty sure he’ll be able to work his quest route so that he passes by all the homesteads that he knows will feed him. Siobhan just to the south, Aislin by the river, Eoghan behind the smithy, the O’Briens in the hills, yeah, even if the Donnelly clan are travelling he can probably make it to Feidhlimidh’s place before he starves.

He’s not especially fussed about the tasks. Either he can do them or he can’t, when it comes down to it, so he’ll take them as they come.

~*~

Zayn goes back to his room “to pack” and just stays in there painting all week. He doesn’t really want to be High King anyway. It’s not worth going outside.

~*~

Harry and Louis, to their utter shock, are the first to reach the final task.

"We are  _amazing_ ,” Louis crows. The old woman guarding the well remains unimpressed.

"Could we have a drink of water, then?" Harry asks hopefully.

"Not that easy, love," the woman says, showing her teeth. They’re not bad teeth, for a woman her age. Harry is a bit impressed.

"What do we need to do, then?" Louis asks. He’s all fired up from their successes this week, and from  _being first to reach the final task_. Maybe teaming up with Harry does count as cheating after all.

"Just give us a kiss and you can have your water and be on your way," says the woman. Harry and Louis exchange a look of dismay.

"It’s not that we think you’re hideous," Louis begins.

"Because you’re really not, you’ve got lovely teeth," Harry interjects.

"But we’re sort of, well."

"Together."

"And faithful."

"Jealous, he means." Louis steps on Harry’s foot. Harry elbows him in the ribs.

The well guardian’s face softens a fraction, but she says, “No kiss, no water, I’m afraid.”

"I hear," Harry says carefully, "that some women like to watch attractive men kiss each other. Would that do?"

The old woman looks considering. “Try it. I’ll let you know.”

She’s barely finished speaking before Louis has Harry’s jaw in one hand and his hair in the other, Harry’s big hands settling on his hips, their mouths fusing together eagerly. Louis scrapes teeth over Harry’s bottom lip and Harry lets out a paper-thin edge of a whine and pulls Louis flush against him, pressing his hips forward involuntarily. Louis’ hand tightens in his hair, nails scratching over his scalp, and-

"That’s enough," says the woman.

Reluctantly, Harry and Louis break apart. Arms still around one another, they turn toward the well guardian. Her face is flushed and her eyebrows look ominous.

"Not good?" Harry ventures.

"Now I’m just frustrated and jealous," she explains. "A woman has  _needs_ , you know.”

"We’re sorry." Louis doesn’t sound sorry at all.

"No kiss, no water," the guardian says again.

"Then I guess we’ll have to go back without." Harry shrugs. "I didn’t really want to be High King anyway."

"I sort of did, though," Louis admits.

"You could kiss her," Harry says bravely. "I- well, I’d mind, but it would be okay."

"I couldn’t, though," says Louis. "No offense," he adds, looking to the guardian.

"None taken. I’m the one holding water hostage."

"I’d rather have you than be High King any day," says Louis.

“ _Lou_ ,” says Harry.

"Get out of here before my ovaries explode," says the guardian.

So they do.

~*~

Liam makes it to the final challenge only to discover that Harry and Louis got there first.

"Are you serious," he says glumly. It’s been a very challenging week and Liam has been very taxed. Physically, emotionally and spiritually challenged and taxed. He just wants to get a drink of water and go home and maybe be High King, but he wasn’t even first to the end and maybe speed counts.

"They didn’t get the water though," says the well guardian. Her face is rosy for an old woman’s but her expression is a bit grim.

"Oh." Liam perks right up. "Didn’t they?"

"No. And because of them, you’ve got to do an extra good job, boy, or you’ll not get the water either."

"What have I got to do, then?" Liam asks. If Louis and Harry couldn’t do it, maybe it’s a strength thing. Or dancing, he dances better than any of them, just ask the court dancing master.

"You’ve got to kiss me."

Liam pauses. “Is that all?” It seems a bit easy. But then, if that’s the case, it’s not really surprising Harry and Louis wouldn’t do it.

"Don’t get cocky, boy. If you can’t satisfy me you can’t have the water. And I’m very frustrated at the moment, so you better bring your A game." She looks at him challengingly.

Liam nearly quails. He’s a gentleman, is Liam, and never has a lady complained, but then, never has a lady been so forward and demanding of him. He has a brief, infinite moment of wishing to be back at the castle with everything over with and decided, maybe watching Zayn paint or something. He knows Zayn skived off his quest; Zayn never goes anywhere if he can help it, because Zayn doesn’t care about anything but his boys and his art and, like, occasionally mediating disputes. Liam is intensely envious of Zayn for a split second.

Then he pulls himself together and says, “Okay. I’m going to kiss you now.”

The guardian turns up her wrinkled face, challenging. He gently cups her jaw in both hands and moves in.

He starts slow, but she makes an impatient noise, so he kisses her as thoroughly as he knows how, thumb stroking her age-soft cheek, meeting her surprisingly adventurous tongue with his own.

When the kiss tapers off, he pulls back and asks, hesitantly, “Was that all right?”

The guardian stands for a moment with her eyes closed and brow slightly furrowed. After a moment she opens her eyes and slowly shakes her head.

"I’m sorry," she says, and Liam’s heart sinks. "You’re a beautiful lad and a gentleman and that was an excellent kiss, but I can tell your heart is elsewhere."

"Elsewhere?" Liam is puzzled. He hasn’t been thinking of anyone back home, except for wishing he’d stayed there with Zayn. He’s not sure what the old woman is talking about.

"You’ll figure it out in time. But I must refuse you the water. I am not satisfied with the kiss of one who loves another."

Liam nods. He doesn’t trust himself to speak without asking questions or complaining, and he’s not going to be a poor loser.

"There’s a creek down the way if you’re thirsty, love," says the guardian sympathetically. "I truly am sorry."

"It’s fine," says Liam gallantly. "I don’t understand, but it’s fine."

"You’ll understand eventually," she says. "Now go your way. You’ve a life to live whether you’re High King or not."

So Liam goes home.

~*~

Niall’s been taking his own time with his tasks, enjoying the company of the people he meets up with along the way. It’s always nice to be able to go round and see all his friends throughout the kingdom, and he brought his guitar with him so he feels like he’s earning the hospitality that he depends on to get him through his quest. No mortal man could pack enough food to feed Niall for a week. He depends on his people, but his people love him and his music, so it seems a fair exchange.

He’s been having such a good time that he’s almost forgotten a kingship is on the line. But the last task looms as he approaches the well and he realises he’s nearly finished. He might be High King. For the first time, he feels a curl of excitement at the thought.

"Good day to you," says the old woman guarding the well.

"Same to you," says Niall. "What’s your name?"

The guardian looks startled. “Alexi. And yours?”

"I’m Niall. Nice to meet you. What do I do?"

"Kiss me," says Alexi, and it’s hardly the first time a woman’s said that to him, though she’s probably the oldest. Still, she’s a woman and she asked him, and it’d be unkind to refuse. And Niall does love a kiss.

"All right then," he says, and kisses Alexi. After a moment her wiry arms find their way around his neck, and he wraps his own around her waist in case she might be feeling weak. She’s a grand kisser, is Alexi. Niall is surprised, but enjoying it.

When Alexi pulls away, Niall kisses her cheek to be polite.

"Now, what’s this task I’m to undertake here?" he asks.

Alexi lets out a dry cackle. “Niall, my lad, that was it. The task was to kiss me. Now you may draw water.”

"That’s not even a hardship, though," Niall protests.

Alexi looks at him sharply. “I believe you mean that. You love everyone genuinely, don’t you? That’s why they all love you.”

Niall shrugs. “I don’t think it’s that big a deal, though?”

"But it is. That’s rare, and valuable. Never lose your love."

"Not likely." Niall draws water quickly and fills his bottle with it. "Alexi, love, thanks so much. I suppose I should get back but it was lovely meeting you." He leans down again to give her another quick peck in farewell.

"Lovely, was it?" She smiles fully for the first time, and suddenly it’s no longer an old woman standing at the well, but a young maiden who looks Niall’s own age, fair and comely as any maiden he’s ever seen.

"What’s this then," he begins, but she turns away and disappears among the trees.

Niall shakes his head and sets off home.

~*~

Louis is a bit dejected by the time they get back to the castle, and Harry has been trying to cheer him up with bad jokes. It’s working a little bit.

"-so the guy says, can you make one for my goldfish, it’s his birthday next week."

"Harry, mate," says Zayn, appearing out of nowhere, "you need better material."

"You need a better sense of humour," Harry returns mildly. He’s well aware that wordplay is an acquired taste.

"And a bath. You’ve paint all over you," says Louis.

"In your hair, even," says Harry.

"I know, I know." Zayn sighs. "I s’pose I should bathe before I hug anyone."

"Are you mad, we’ve been sleeping outdoors for a week, we’re dirtier than you," says Harry immediately, and pulls Zayn into a tender embrace.

"Hey, now, none of that, no leaving  _me_  out,” says Louis, and worms his way into the hug. It’s turning into a proper cuddle and they haven’t even made it inside.

"I missed everyone," Zayn says, so quietly they almost don’t hear.

Harry hugs him tighter and noses at his neck. “We missed you, too.”

Eventually the cuddle breaks and Zayn says, “But really, I should have a bath before Li- before the others get home. I’ll look a proper idiot if Da sees me like this.”

"He knows you never left," Louis scoffs.

“‘Course he does,” Zayn says patiently, “but our entire relationship is built on him pretending not to notice when I’m being useless. I was never going to be High King anyway.”

"Maybe not, but you’re going to be a hell of an advisor," Harry says.

"Now go take your bath," Louis commands, shooing. "We’ve got to go take ours."

~*~

Zayn stays in the bath until the water gets cold. He’s not hiding in there, probably. He’s just thinking things through.

Louis and Harry failed the final task. That means by definition neither of them will be High King. Zayn is out of the question, never wanted the position anyway, so that means it’s between Liam and Niall. It’s hard to say which one of them will prevail: Liam tries so hard at everything that he usually succeeds just because he won’t give up. Niall, on the other hand, is this outgoing friendly charmer that wouldn’t starve even if he lost all his friends because he could coax complete strangers into lending their aid. And he’s competent, in this very low-key way that only comes out when it’s needed.

If he’s honest, Zayn is worried. Because Liam might fail. And failure might crush him.

Finally, unable to stand being alone in his brain any longer, Zayn gets out of the bath and dresses carefully. Then, instead of sending to find out whether anyone else has arrived home, Zayn straightens his back and goes himself.

Just down the corridor, Liam is exiting his own rooms, looking freshly bathed himself. His hair is damp and Zayn notices that it’s gotten long enough that it’s started to curl again. He looks clean and pink and tired and vaguely dissatisfied and Zayn’s heart registers a tiny stab.

"Liam," he calls, and Liam turns toward him. As soon as he realises who called him, his face completely lights up, and he comes along the corridor to engulf Zayn in a hug. Zayn clings to Liam, shutting his eyes and breathing deeply. He really missed his boys.

"How was it?" Zayn asks, when he thinks it might be safe. He feels Liam sigh more than he hears it.

"Well, I don’t think I’m going to be High King." Zayn stops breathing. "I couldn’t complete the last task."

"Why not?" He isn’t sure he wants to know.

"It doesn’t really matter," Liam says. "And… I don’t think I mind."

"You. What?" Zayn pulls back far enough to look Liam in the eye. "You were so determined to do well. I thought you really wanted this."

"I wanted to win." Liam shrugs. "But that’s not always what it’s about, I guess. I had a nice long journey home to think about it."

"Oh?" Zayn asks weakly.

"Yes," says Liam. "I realised a couple of things. The first thing was that it doesn’t really matter which of us is High King because we’re all so close it’ll be like all of us ruling no matter what."

Zayn had thought of that, actually. “That’s true.”

"And the second thing-" Liam pauses, and Zayn has to prompt him.

"The second thing?"

Liam just stands looking at Zayn for a few moments. Zayn gets nervous.

"Liam. What’s the second thing you realised?"

"I realised," Liam says finally, "what the last task meant."

"I don’t understand."

"It was about love, I think," Liam explains. "And I didn’t understand, but now I’ve seen you again I do."

That. Well. That seems fairly unmistakeable, and Zayn’s heart is suddenly beating hard enough that he is actually worried it will beat a hole through his ribcage and abandon him. But he makes himself ask, all the same, because what if he’s wrong, he has to make  _certain_.

"You understand about love because you’ve seen me again?"

Liam smiles. Zayn’s knees buckle for a second before he catches himself.

"Yeah. I do."

He steps forward. Zayn meets him halfway.

~*~

"I know he’s home, I saw him ahead of me as I was coming down the valley," Niall says.

"And Zayn never left at all," Louis reminds everyone.

"So where are they?" Harry asks.

"I’ll send someone," says High King Notevengonnatry, but just then there’s a cough in the throne room doorway.

"We’re here," Zayn says sheepishly. Everyone’s eyes lock onto the place where Zayn’s hand is holding onto Liam’s hand.

“ _Finally_ ,” says Harry. Liam blushes.

"Come in," says the High King, and Zayn and Liam scramble to join the others. "The results of the challenge have been tallied," he continues. "And due to the fact that nobody else completed all their tasks, the next High King will be…" He pauses, trying to make a dramatic moment out of it.

"Oh, leave it, your Majesty, they all know it’s Niall," Winston says, rolling his eyes.

"I suppose they do," the High King acknowledges. "Winston, you have my thanks for organising this contest, and I will trust you to be a sound advisor to him once I am dead."

"Oi, Da, you’re making it morbid," says Niall. "I’m gonna be Heir Presumptive for a good long while."

"Damn straight you are," says High King Notevengonnatry. "But in the meantime, let’s party."

The staff have prepared a special dinner for the announcement of the future High King. There’s music and dancing and Niall continues his tradition of crashing the minstrels’ gallery to jam with the musicians for a while. Being named the High King’s heir doesn’t suddenly make him a different person.

And, looking down at his brothers as he plays, he’s very glad of that. He’ll rule as himself, and his brothers will eventually rule under him, and the entire kingdom is going to be completely awesome.

~the end~

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally posted on Tumblr under the URL [but-red-means-stop](http://but-red-means-stop.tumblr.com/). Come say hi if you want. :D


End file.
